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Confessions of a Hot Mess

March 5, 2011

My name is Jodi and I’m a hot mess.

We love you Jodi.

There it is, I have taken that very important first step, admitting I have a problem.  I have never been a tidy, organized person.  Is it laziness?  Apathy?  Carelessness?  Rebellion?  Let’s delve a little deeper into this issue, shall we?  My mother is an uber organized, at times obsessive compulsive, neat freak.  Her house is always pristine, a dust bunny wouldn’t dare reside under her furniture, she has a label maker and knows how to use it.  Growing up my brother and I would fly into a panic every time she stayed home from work because it meant she was “CLEANING OUR ROOMS!”.  Before you scoff and think I am overdramatizing the situation let me point out that neither my brother or I were allowed to have “our own space”, our rooms were in her house, she paid for the house and they would be kept clean.  I kid you not when I tell you that she used to take a white paper towel and run it along the bookshelves and door frames to assure we hadn’t missed a spec of dust.  When she was cleaning our rooms, it was code for throwing things away, nothing was safe: sports trophies, childhood keepsakes, books, toys, etc… I was always so jealous of my friends who had rooms that were complete disaster areas-ahh the freedom that represented to me.  I think having always been forced into such “neatness” has made both my brother and I total messes, I’m not blaming our mom, I’m just saying.

I wish that I could just embrace my hot messedness but I really want to have a house that is perfectly clean all the time.  I love the feeling of having everything in it’s place, all our clean clothes hung neatly in the closets and folded perfectly in the drawers.  I have spent countless hours and dollars on various methods of organizing myself and our household.  Most recently I shelled out about $25 at Office Max on a pretty pink binder, clear page protectors and tabbed dividers.  I did hours of research on the internet for instructions on creating a household manual, a veritable Bible of running our house.  This was the answer to my disorganized prayers!  I made lists, schedules and charts, printed them on brightly colored paper, decorated them with stickers, it was beautiful.  We used it for 3 days and it is now collecting dust somewhere in the mess that is my storage closet/laundry room/home office.  Before you judge me I will tell you that I am not “dirty”, dishes are done daily, toilets and sinks scrubbed, floors washed and vacuumed, etc… the problem is stuff…our family of four has a ton of it and it’s everywhere: mail, papers for work, fliers and newsletters from school, happy meal toys, hair bows, spare change, books and on and on and on.  Once or twice a month I will go through and purge all the piles of stuff lest the producers of Hoarders come a knocking but within a few days it starts to pile up again.

My flakiness does not only extend to my house, I always have 100 different projects in the works, all at various stages of completeness.  The Hubs jokes that my hobby is collecting hobbies-I don’t just dabble in things, I jump in whole hog-go big or go home is my motto.  About of year ago I decided to start knitting, I spent hours on looking up patterns and techniques, I ordered books, bought every size needle known to man, collected all the gadgets and accessories I could get my hands on, combed the sales bins at craft stores for a rainbow of various color yarns; to date I have finished 3 dishcloths.  I have enough cake and cookie decorating supplies to rival a professional bakery.  The cabinets in my laundry room are stuffed with coloring books, markers, pens, crayons, paint, play doh, games and books.  Ironically I love office supplies and boxes and bins, an hour at The Container Store is like Mardi Gras for me.

I know, I’ll start making a list of what needs to be done, write down everything we own and where it all belongs…this is the key to getting me organized…now if only I could find a pen.

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